Uber-Sexual versus MANTOWN-Sexual

The number and qualifications for categories developed by trendy magazines and opinion makers to classify men has now officially become ridiculous. As if heterosexual and homosexual weren’t enough – the metrosexual man is the man that embodies the classic traits of masculinity while exuding an outwardly – for lack of a better word – GAY appearance and displaying a penchant for traditionally female luxuries like pedicures and facials. And now, the penultimate – uber-sexual – the man who maintains the “better” points of the masculine persona augmented with desire and deep rooted passions.

I’ve noticed the lack of trendy categories to pigeon-hole women. Of course there are the standard girly-girl, tomboy and dike labels, but they lack the panache to entice women to aspire to their demanding credentials. Therefore, borrowing liberally from the Hillman Morning Show on WAAF, I’ve come up with the newest trendy label for today’s power woman to aim for – the MANTOWN-sexual.

The MANTOWN-sexual female displays an outwardly, over-feminine physique, while maintaining the finer personality characteristics of a man. To further define the physicality: MANTOWN-sexual women can be either petite or tall; however, they never have a hint of body fat. MANTOWN-sexual women don’t necessarily have breast enhancements; however, it is not frowned upon. MANTOWN-sexual women aren’t always strippers, but they could easily be mistaken for one. MANTOWN-sexual women generally dress in tight fitting clothes that expose strategic areas of skin; for example, the belly, upper thighs and cleavage (both breast and/or buttocks).

The personality of the MANTOWN-sexual woman can best be compared to the classic tomboy. She is athletic and enjoys sports even though she may not be able to tell the difference between a baseball and a football. She possesses a keen knack for culinary creations and is always ready to provide alcoholic beverages at a moments notice. She is eager to please and may act quite lady-like. While, belching during a beer chugging with the boys is not out of the realm of possibilities, the MANTOWN-sexual woman makes it seem rather classy.

Perhaps most importantly, MANTOWN-sexual women relish sex. In fact, sex with relish and other condiments – including whipped cream and chocolate sauce – is highly encouraged. MANTOWN-sexual women are no strangers to first, second or third input and are always dehydrated after sex sessions demanding a “big gulp” to quench their thirst. In fact, the adage “a virgin in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom” may best describe the duality of the MANTOWN-sexual woman.

It may seem difficult to delicately balance the demands of lady-like behavior with male exuberance coupled with an unbridled sex lust, but to the MANTOWN-sexual woman, there is no other way to be.