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Friday, January 27, 2006

War for [Insert Object Here]

Now that I have fully discovered the vast right-wing conspiracy regarding the current war in Iraq, I must disclose the truth to all that have been duped into believing the blatant outright lies. This goes much deeper than President Bush, even further back than his father. All the way to World War II in fact!

Back in 1941, American's were just coming out of the depression and they had insatiable needs to drive around in fancy luxury cars. American car makers couldn't deliver, but German cars were highly revered. We invaded Germany not to stop Hitler, but in reality, to secure BMW's for Americans. WW II was a war for automobile superiority.

Now that BMW has chased all other car makers into the development of gas guzzling SUV's, it logically follows that we greedy Americans must satisfy our desires to drive with superfluous gallons of oil. Hence, the war in Iraq; a war for oil to power the cars that we plundered from Germany back in the mid 40's. Can anyone or anything stop the relentless push of American consumerism which drives our imperialism?

What's next, invade Siberia in a war for snow that we can export to mountain resorts for year round skiing to combat global warming?
 

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